Of all the “Hitler reacts to so-and-so” videos. This is very nearly the best I’ve ever seen. It’s just perfect. And this is exactly how most people fell.

Now, I wouldn’t buy any kind of hand held tablet at all. And I don’t use fancy phones, but one thing I know is, no multi-tasking? Fucking most completely useless idea ever.

AND NO FLASH!?

Euphoria wins again!

The final season of Lost starts this Tuesday, and I’m pretty excited. OK, that doesn’t begin to describe how goddamn stoked I am. I’m losing my damn mind in anticipation. Therefore, this is pretty much the greatest Lost related video I’ve ever seen. I wish my family was Italian…

Oh, and as silly as it may seem, the video is choked full of spoilers and plot details from the last five seasons of Lost, so if you haven’t seen all five seasons, or plan to watch Lost, you might not want to watch this.

Ok, so for all of you who dont know what a lock shim is, its a little piece of metal used to break into various locks (mainly pad locks). Its used by wrapping this little device around the arm of the lock and sliding it down in the small opening, popping open the lock. Now I know there was a video going around a few months ago about how to make one of these shims out of a pop can. Now some mother fucking kids saw it and started making videos, theres probably like 100 or so with little kids showing off their crazy “hacking” skills. Now they can break into students lockers and fuck shit up because schools have been using the same locks since 1990. I dont know what to think about this…

Hack Open A Lock!! – Funny video clips are a click away

I’ve been meaning to write this article for a long time. You could say last week’s post about Canadian music was just a simple preamble for this monstrosity I’m about to unleash. If you pass out at some point during the duration of this long-ass article, well… I either apologize or recommend that you seek medical care, cause that shit ain’t normal.

Alexisonfire (a.k.a, My Descent Into Musical Madness)

Two things: 1. This is probably the longest article I’ve ever written, and much of the first half is basically describing my evolution as a music fan, so if you want to skip some/all of it, no hard feelings 2. It’s Alexis-on-fire, not Alex-is-on-fire.

The formative period of a child is perhaps the most important moment of his/her life. Everything that happens during this period will dramatically affect the child’s life, personality, etc; therefore, I suppose I should really thank my father for my current musical tastes. I’ve told many friends this little anecdote, but when I was 4, my father first played me Green Day’s Dookie, which had just come out at the time. Let’s get past the part where a four-year old is listening to an album chocked full of profanity and drug references, and skip to the important part: Dookie made me the man I am today. Growing up surrounded by classic punk (my father used to sing and play bass in a punk band in Toronto, and would constantly play music from The Ramones, The Clash, and of course Green Day) allowed me an early taste of the aggression, freedom and joy that would define some of my favorite bands. Were it not for this intro to punk music at an early age, I’m not sure how I would have reacted upon first hearing “Accidents”.

“Accidents”
01 Accidents

Let me back up: before I developed my own musical tastes, i pretty much just listened to the radio and my father’s music. Five years ago, my parents got me a Christmas present that changed my perspective on music forever. It was a CD put out by Much Music called Big Shiny Tunes 9, and it featured songs from artists like Billy Talent, Franz Ferdinand, blink-182, and a host of other artists I had some minor interest in. Then, at the very bottom of the tracklisting, was a song called “Accidents”, from a band I had never heard of before. After burning through the CD’s seventeen other tracks, I finally came to “Accidents”, and what I heard from my CD player shocked me. Screaming? What in God’s green earth was going on?

I don’t remember much about that first listen, except that I was thoroughly confused and more than a little turned off. The next morning, I popped in the CD again, and skipped right back down to that eighteenth track, trying to wrap my mind around what I was hearing. At the end of that second listen, I determined that I actually enjoyed the song in a weird way. Two weeks later, I conned my parents into purchasing Watch Out!, the CD from which the song came from. As you’ve no doubt guessed, the band who played “Accidents”, the band who changed my outlook on music, was Alexisonfire.

It’s for this reason I will always view Watch Out! as one of my favorite albums of all time; not necessarily for the music (don’t get me wrong, it’s fucking amazing stuff), but for what it did for my tastes in music. Alexisonfire was the catalyst that got me into post-hardcore, a genre I now consider to be perhaps my favorite. It was Watch Out that broadened my views on music, and convinced me to seek out bands like Coheed and Cambria, and The Mars Volta, bands that got me into progressive music. It was Watch Out! that turned me from a 14-year old idiot without any sense of purpose or passion into the 18-year old maniac whose very life is defined by his love of music. That’s how goddamn important Watch Out! is to me. If Dookie was my Genesis, Watch Out! was my Exodus.

But hey, it’s not really important to you, the reader, my personal connection to the music of Alexisonfire. All you want to know is this: is the music any good? Short answer: Yes. Long answer: Hell mother-fucking yes. They have basically everything you could ask of a melodic post-hardcore band: excellent technicality, great songwriting chops, absolutely killer vocals, and perhaps most importantly, a great sense for musical evolution. Throughout their career, AOF have never released the same album twice, with each adding new elements to their sound without ever losing their signature Alexisonfire sound.

The band’s self-titled debut proves that even at an early stage in the history of Alexisonfire, they had already honed their songwriting formula. Perhaps their most overtly technical record, from the very beginning you get a sense of the fantastic interplay between the band (the first two minutes of opener “.44 Caliber Love Letter” are entirely instrumental, showcasing some brilliant guitar lines as well as a surprisingly versatile bass performance from bassist Chris Steele). The whole feel of the s/t is much rawer than any of the band’s other albums, due to things like the lower production values and the still developing vocals of screamer George Pettit and singer/guitarist Dallas Green. While there are hints of the atmosphere of Watch Out!, these are mostly very self-contained (the intro to “Polaroids and Polar Bears” for example). The one place where the atmosphere is truly successfully integrated into the music is standout track “Pulmonary Archery”, perhaps the jewel of the band’s discography. The song’s quiet intro blends seamlessly into the aggressive verses, and though the song doesn’t really have a proper chorus, it’s catchiness comes from the instantly memorable guitar riffs and the band’s brilliant take on cyclical songwriting. It sums up everything that makes AOF great in three minutes.

“Pulmonary Archery”
11 Pulmonary Archery
“.44 Caliber Love Letter”
01 .44 Caliber Love Letter

I’ve already spoken briefly about my love for Watch Out, so let me justify it for the readers out there. Watch Out! is by far the band’s darkest record, and also their most atmospheric. This atmosphere is evident on tracks like closer “Happiness by the Kilowatt”, bass-driven “Sharks and Danger”, and the first half of “It Was Fear of Myself That Made Me Odd”. Both of the latter tracks are great examples of the kind of atypical song construction the band thrive at, with neither containing any sort of chorus, and both undergoing massive changes throughout their durations. The other big change with Watch Out! is the refinement of the vocals, with both George and Dallas making massive improvements to their respective vocals (Dallas actually manages to carry “Side Walks When She Walks” without any screams from George, an impressive feat). George’s screaming is deeper, more controlled, and far more effective, while Dallas’ delivery is beautifully refined and his melodies are second to none. His performance on “No Transitory”, one of the album’s standouts and one of Dallas’ best performances, solidifies him as one of the best singers in hardcore today.

“No Transitory”
06 No Transitory
“It Was Fear Of Myself That Made Me Odd”
03 It Was Fear Of Myself That Made Me Odd

AOF’s third album, Crisis, is notable for being the band’s first with drummer Jordan Hastings, replacing previous drummer Jesse Ingelevics. Whereas Jesse was probably the more creative of the two, Jordan is the more technical and punk-oriented drummer. This punk sound permeates the entirety of Crisis, creating an album far less creative than Watch Out!, but still just as catchy, if not more so. Guitarist/vocalist Wade MacNeil is given more vocal opportunities on the album, and his rough punk voice fits perfectly with the sound of Crisis. The album is also more dependent on the verse-chorus formula than Watch Out, but the band has refined the formula considerably, resulting in some of their catchiest tracks to date (“This Could Be Anywhere in the World”, “Boiled Frogs”), a few brilliant heavy cuts (“You Burn First”, “Crisis”), as well as the band’s best straight-up “ballad” in “Rough Hands”.

“This Could Be Anywhere In The World”
02 This Could Be Anywhere In The World
“Rough Hands”
11 Rough Hands

Which brings me to the band’s latest album, 2009’s Old Crows/Young Cardinals. The sound of the band’s fourth album has something of a rock vibe to it (“Accept Crime” features an actual guitar solo, a rarity for the band), and the verse-chorus formula evolved on Crisis is continued here. These are not the problems with Old Crows/Young Cardinals. As much as it pains me to say this, the problem is George. It’s clear something’s happened to the man’s vocal chords between albums, because he can’t scream like he used to (George used to be an incredibly skilled screamer, with plenty of depth and control to his voice). Instead, he relies on a shouting technique reminiscent of James Hedfield that, while occasionally meshing with the music, hurts far more tracks that it saves. Because of this, Dallas and Wade are featured far more prominently in the album’s vocals, leading to tracks like closer “Burial”, which only features Dallas singing and goes absolutely nowhere. To be fair, it’s not a bad album by any means. There are some great songs to be found here (“Young Cardinals”, “Born and Raised”, “The Northern”), and drummer Jordan Hastings’ evolution as a drummer is mind-blowing (seriously, just listen to Young Cardinals – the man can fucking drum), but it’s still a bit of a disappointment given the quality of the band’s previous albums.

“Young Cardinals”
02 Young Cardinals
“Born And Raised”
04 Born and Raised

However, one disappointing album does not a bad band make. Even if AOF were to release nothing but garbage for the remainder of their career, we would still be left with three excellent albums, each perfecting a different aspect of the melodic post-hardcore genre. Hopefully this long-ass post has piqued your interest in at least one of these albums, because I do truly believe that Alexisonfire have the ability to appeal to just about anyone (providing they aren’t too closed-minded about a little screaming).

Other Stuff

I’m pretty ashamed in myself, because somehow I ended getting back into WoW hard over this past week. Whatever. I regret nothing. Oh, and by the time you read this, Mass Effect 2 will be out. You know what you have to do…

…Buy it.

now many of mythical/magical creatures are deemed fake or scientifically impossible but the advantage of science is that nobody can claim something as a fact unless backed by a million page report. Now, this is where I present you a theory on the extinction of Vampire. From my source (internet), no real plausible vampire attack reports been made but but the number of reports have reduced from 17~19th century to 20th century.

Now, you may wonder what does heavy metals have to do with vampires. Ever since the industrial revolution, the use of heavy metals became accessible and very common, and god knows how and where those heavy metals were used. Those heavy metals used without realizing that they are harmful to human body, still remain in our blood. The levels of these heavy metals have been reduced quite a lot in present day, but they were not so diluted back in 19th and 20th century. Vampires drink human blood, now there are some retard vampires who refuses to drink human blood *cough* but most of vampires drink human blood like a normal vampire. Nobody really knows how vampire’s metabolism works and they are known to be immune to poisons and other harmful substances that can kill humans but all living matters but what about heavy metals. Heavy metals work differently then regular poisons. Regular poisons work by causing disturbances to organisms (definition from wikipedia) but heavy metals accumulate in one’s body and can cause one’s nervous system to degenerate and other serious illnesses (look them up your selves.)

Now, I don’t know anything about vampire anatomy but I’m pretty sure of 3 things. 1. they will not work properly without a brain. 2.they have some sort of working spinal cord. 3. they have some sort of DNA in their cells. Since humans are on the top of the food chain and eats variety of meat and plants, humans naturally have an accumulation of heavy metals in their blood. From these assumptions I can guess what a good does of heavy metal in their system will do. When a vampire drinks human blood, most of these heavy metals are going to transfer into vampire’s system. What would happen if a vampire drinks enough human blood with heavy metals? Wouldn’t there be a massive accumulation of heavy metals in vampires? Wouldn’t heavy metals attack the nervous system, their brain, and their unknown internal organs and have a negative effects on them? I absolutely positively think they would have a negative effects on vampires and if there was enough heavy metals accumulated. Wouldn’t vampire’s system shut down and perhaps die? and if so, vampires won’t be able to drink human blood anymore and die from hunger? Plus, some heavy metals are a radical, meaning that they can mutate your DNA, and since vampires run on blood, the heavy metals in their blood just might effect their cells and cause a mutation and when I say mutation, it doesn’t mean getting a tongue that shoots laser.

So, there just might be a reason for governments all over the world poisoning our ecosystem with heavy metals and that they are not a stupid as they look.